Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Snow What?!?

Oregonians tend to get overly excited about the weather. This time, it was actually warranted ... evidence to follow:


Notice the beautiful snow. Notice the beautiful Mustang, incapacitated by the snow. Steve, you sucka! (My Forester, by the way, handles the snow like a dream. Without chains, I might add. Sucka!)


Our front fence is 3 feet high, and the drift covers almost the whole thing. Of course, just a few feet in front of that, there are still blades of grass poking through the snow. Two days of wind gusts (hitting up to 60 MPH) make for interesting sculpture!


Our poor heat pump. This is after we dug it out the first day. Guess what fun task Steve took on again while I was at work today?


More fantastic drifts; these are at least 5 feet high and could smother a Ronda.


Ready to hot tub and grill. Brrrrr-atwurst, anyone?


Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Peace on Earth

Peace on earth, Black Man.

Stop your killing.

Shooting. Stabbing.


Senseless.

Chilling.


Peace on earth, Middle East.

Stop your bombing.

Terrorizing. Paralyzing.


Heart-wrenching.

Alarming.


Peace on earth, Christian.

Stop your hating.

Preaching. Judging.


Irrelevant.

Stagnating.


Peace on earth, Husband.

Stop your beating.

Bruising. Abusing.


Terrifying.

Depleting.



Peace on earth, brother.

Good will.

Peace on earth, sister.

Be still.

Peace on earth, mother.

All is calm.

Peace on earth, father.

Right the wrong.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Work is a Zoo

My boss got back from a 4-day vacation today. She kept calling it a 6-day vacation, however, which was driving me a little bonkers. We share a small office and sit about 3 feet apart from each other, making me privy to every conversation she has all day long, as many times as she chooses to have them.

It was 4 days plus the weekend. Four days! Not six! A weekend does not a vacation make.

It was good to have her back, in that my work load and burden of responsibility has been lifted greatly. After about two hours, I was wishing her gone again. Can that woman ever talk.

Maddening.

And yet, wonderful motivation to finally tip my toes back into the world of education. I've enrolled in the local community college this fall, with future ambitions of working with animals rather than people.

I haven't gone back to school until now because I have career commitment phobia. I can't guarantee that I won't change direction again, but I'm jumping in nonetheless. If you can call one Math class - at a level lower than I actually tested into - jumping in. But, I want to do well, and enjoy being back in school, and being successful in my first class will help build the foundation.

Math .. to biology .. to zoology. That's the plan.

Though I'm tempted to just run away to New Zealand with one of my co-workers, who told me tonight that he's given his notice and moving there in October.

Koalas. Kangaroos. Talk about instant gratification!

Sigh. I'll probably be on the 15 year plan before I scratch a dingo's chin. At least my boss will retire in less than 5.

Monday, March 03, 2008

Soap Box

I often struggle to put into words - without sounding disrespectful, rude, disparaging, inflammatory - why I simply don't believe that men are natural-born or preordained leaders. Not of our homes, not of our churches, not of our communities. I won't even agree to this theory in an overly-generalized fashion as I begrudgingly have - for the sake of peace, conformity, and fear of God - for years.

I was simply going to let the story that follows speak for itself, but I have a few things I want to say first.

I think that men struggle more than women do to find and follow their moral compass. I think true, life-changing leadership comes from a place of compassion, a place in which women seem more often to dwell. (I do not necessarily include myself in these flattering descriptions, by the way.) I think left to their own devices, without women calling them to higher standards, men can tool around aimlessly, look inward to the point of self-import, or choose destructive behaviors that - quickly and with terrible repercussions - spiral out of control.

Men need to step back when their weaknesses are hindering progress. They need to not stand in the way of women who are gifted in areas that they are not. They need to stop automatically relegating the duties (and ministries) of "home, children, and other women" to those who have a different calling. They need to show as much respect and deference to a woman called to leadership as they would a fellow man.

From the Heifer Foundation Fall 2007 "Benefactors" publication, Greg Spradlin writes about the Women's Project in Chitwan, Nepal:

Nepal is one of the poorest countries in the world. Nepal is a country suffering from decades of civil and political unrest. As I write this, there is news of more rioting from the Maoist rebels who seek to overturn the country's monarchy - neither choice is good for this country. However, what I saw were kind and gentle people who want the same things you and I want. When their children are sick, they would like to have access to a doctor. They want healthy food available for three meals a day. They want a safe place to live, and hope their children will have a better life than theirs.

What I saw in Chitwan was miraculous. I saw villages that Heifer International had worked with for less than five years. In those villages, the women had taken charge in a culture where others only know many of them by their husband's name - property, no different than a small parcel of land they worked and toiled in to make ends meet. In the past, the husbands may have drank what little cash that they earned, and in turn would take out his anger on his wife. Today, the women have been empowered by training and community building that is part of the Heifer process. Today, those women are the leaders and the glue that holds the community together and lifts the community to become one where others would want to live.

The most astonishing thing that has happened is that the animals and training they have received from Heifer have produced a community that now has a medical clinic, a library, a community center and a community-owned fund that now totals over $10,000 USD. This is a country where the average person earns less than $300 per year. The unique thing is that the women have used the funds to build the community. They have even built a dam to protect the village from the floods in rainy season.

All of the women talked of life before they were trained and received animals. They told of having to scrape to produce maybe two meals per day of mostly gains they were able to collect or beg from neighbors. They talked about the abuses that were once part of their everyday existence. Now, they tell a story of enlightenment, where life is not as hopeless if everyone in the community works together.


Christian organizations that implore all men to step back up to their "rightful and God-given" roles as leaders do not necessarily have bad intentions. I just think they miss the point. Jesus brought us a NEW testament, a NEW life, a NEW way of thinking, a NEW freedom. The longer we cling to that which is tried, that which is true, that which is tired, and that which simply does not work, the longer we starve, neglect, despair, abuse and war.

Friday, February 15, 2008

You Catch More Flies With Honey

I didn't call because I was too angry, and I was afraid I might say something I'd later regret.

I did, however, leave a still-seething letter for my former boss at the newspaper biz last night, when she neglected - for the fourth month in a row - to pay her employees when promised. This ongoing saga has included late payments, bounced payments, bounced re-payments and a boss who has been less than forthcoming about any of it. Fortunately, I haven't suffered an eviction from my apartment and repossession of my car as some of my former co-workers have as a result of her ineptitude.

When I woke up this morning, I thought I might feel some pangs of regret over my strongly-worded letter. I don't. I guess she just pushed too far, for too long, and took too great advantage of whatever forgiveness, generosity, and benefit of the doubt I could muster.

Here are some excerpts. Scold me if you so desire.


"The fact that you did not bother to call me about this change of plans [getting paid more than a week later than we were supposed to] is enormously disappointing. The cavalier and reckless manner in which you consistently handle people's pay - and the lack of respect that you show your employees by continually neglecting to communicate with them - are truly reprehensible."
________________________________________

"During my employment with you, I went above and beyond the call of duty and the confines of our contract to assist you and help you succeed in your new venture. Even so, I am not asking for additional compensation for all of my extra time and effort. I am merely asking to be paid what is owed, in a timely fashion, and without error."
________________________________________

"I'm frustrated beyond belief and out of patience. I tried to give you constructive feedback over the last few months regarding your communication skills, conflict resolution tactics and bookkeeping practices, and you have blatantly disregarded every concern I shared, with disastrous results."
________________________________________

"I would be happy to talk to you about any of this if you so desired, but I will not be initiating the conversation. At this point, I'm weary of the drama and simply want to be paid. I do wish you well, and hope that you are able and willing to do what it takes to successfully manage your business."


We'll see what happens. I believe in the adage "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar", but sweetness is lost on this woman. Perhaps bitterness might get us somewhere. Like the bank.

Friday, February 01, 2008

Miss Kitty

A couple of months ago I rescued a kitten from the industrial park where I've been working. It was a dark and stormy night - it was! - and bitter cold.

"Mew! MEW! "MEW!!!!", she cried. LOUDLY. And not quite kitten-like, either. More like a laser, cutting through the darkness and rain. "Find me, FIND ME, FIND ME!!!!!" I decided to look for her, despite the fact that I was half-convinced she was not actually a kitten, but rather a serial killer pretending to sound like a kitten, luring me to certain death in the far reaches of the industrial park. But find her I did, cowering between two giant semi tires. Despite asking so persistently to be found, she refused to come out and remained just out of my reach.

I had to leave her. I was already running late, and this was back when I still cared about delivering each and every paper on my route by 5:30 a.m. or else! I drove like a demon. I ran my apartments like a woman possessed. All I could think about the entire time I was tossing papers was that tiny little kitten. I cried as I finished and headed back to the station, praying that she would still be there.

She was. I cried again with relief, managed to get her out from the same spot I'd left her two hours earlier, and brought her home in a box. A box that said "MEW!" at Steve when he opened the front door for me. A box that made him open his eyes wider than they've ever been and ask, "What did you DO???".

After a day or two of getting cleaned up and fattened up, she started purring and cuddling. She was a whopping one pound:


After less than two weeks, she had almost doubled in size, and had found her spunk and personality:


She was a pretty little calico that we refused to name. She had lots of nicknames, but most often we referred to her as Miss Kitty. We didn't intend to keep her, as two cats are more than enough .. but we were absolutely smitten with her, despite all the work. Crawford was learning to tolerate her, even starting to play with her a bit (and once letting her cuddle with him during nap time - what a sight!), but Beeker absolutely despised her and was unrelenting in his torture of her.

We found her a new home with a gal from Steve's softball team. We both cried all night after dropping her off. Everything set us off: the little stuffed hippos she would wrestle with. The bedroom door that she loved to hide behind, smashing as much of her face as would fit through the crack while waving her paw around madly. The spot of goo that she left, licking the mirror when she first saw her reflection. The pile of clothes on the floor that I couldn't bear to pick up, because she had decided to make it her "big girl" bed.

We wondered how on earth people who do foster care for children can possibly bear to let them leave. We couldn't even handle being foster parents to a kitten for two weeks, as we felt so vacant and heart-broken when she was gone!

We have been reminiscing about her ever since. "Remember when Miss Kitty would sleep tucked into the front our zip-up sweatshirts when we were at the computers so our hands would be free to type?" "Remember when she pranced into the living room for the very first time and looked so pleased with herself for exploring new territory?" "Remember how she always wanted to run around and play in her litter box right after using it .. ugh, maybe let's not remember that one."

We tried to follow up with Miss Kitty's adoptive mom a week later, and never heard back. I've been guilt-ridden ever since, imagining every terrible scenario that may have occurred. Happily, we received an email and pictures this week, and are so thrilled that she has a name (Kalee) and a friend who provides her with cuddles!


Still a bag lady, despite our efforts to rescue her from the mean streets of Troutdale! Hee.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

Pterylae, I Say

One of my favorite artists - and favorite people, period - from when I sold my frames at the Portland Saturday Market has opened his own online Etsy store:

Adam Stare of
Pterylae Designs

He makes these wonderful geometric pieces of jewelry and art using acrylic squares and thread. And he explains the process SO much better on his site than I ever will .. but I wanted to give him props and a shout out nonetheless ("Yo, Adam!").

His pieces are so striking and interesting, and they were a consistently high seller at the Market when I was there. I think my sister bought something from him when she visited last! Trust me when I tell you that, regardless of how nice his little online shop is and how well his pieces are presented, the photographs do not adequately portray just how exquisite his work really is.

Please consider paying him a visit - and, of course, paying for some of his wares - to help him celebrate his artistry and (future) success!

Saturday, January 19, 2008

You Know It's Time To Shave Your Legs When ...

... you can't sleep because you're too itchy.

... you have nightmares about wearing a skirt in public, thinking you're looking fiiiiine, then realizing everyone is staring at your heinous hairy legs.

... your husband says things like "I'm not even going to ask when you last shaved".

... your cats are rubbing up against you with increased frequency.

... you seem to generate more static electricity than usual.

... you start lovingly referring to yourself as "woolly mammoth", "hairy beast" and "Chewbacca"

... you wonder if you might lose some weight if you just up and shaved already.

... small children run from you, screaming something about Big Foot being real.

... dogs seem especially amorous when you're around.

... your legs feel unusually warm for January, and you find yourself thinking "leggings, schmeggings!"

... you consider whether your leg hair could be the next big thing in flooring, replacing bamboo as the ultimate renewable resource.

... Locks of Love contacts you to see if you'll donate your leg hair to make hairpieces for disadvantaged children suffering from medical hair loss.

... you forget about the wonder that is hemp. Leg hair t-shirts! Leg hair backpacks! Leg hair lip balm! Leg hair protein powder! Leg hair leashes! Leg hair business cards!

... when you vacation in Jamaica, the locals ask if you want the hair on your head or the hair on your legs braided with beads.

... you feel quite confident that if stopped by police, you could successfully get away with concealing drugs or weapons in your leg hair.

... you're writing a blog about shaving your legs.
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Anyone else brave enough to admit to winter shaving slothfulness? (We'll just pretend that I only suffer from this affliction during the winter months.) How about your own "you know it's time" quips?

Friday, January 11, 2008

Please Add "Castration" To That Sentence

A few weeks ago, out of the blue, someone anonymously submitted a comment regarding my post "Boys Are Stupider ... Send Them To Jupiter". I didn't post the comment, not because it varied from my own point of view, but because it was clearly written by a simpleton whose opening statement of "Go jump in a lake" showed less consideration to the topic at hand than I give to my little toe each day.

This is why it's important to think about why society values boys more than girls, and to examine our own hearts to find to what extent we might be guilty of the same sexist thinking:
_________________________________________________________________

Winter Haven, Fla. -- A Winter Haven man was charged with murder, accused of fatally beating his 4-month-old daughter because he wanted a son, authorities said. Marcos Gomez-Romero, 28, told investigators that he beat Ariana Rodriguez Romero to death because did not want a daughter, according to a Polk County Sheriff's Office report. Gomez-Romero told investigators that the beatings had gone on for months, the sheriff's report stated.

Gomez-Romero was charged with first-degree murder and aggravated child abuse. The girl died on Christmas morning.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Best News Ever

Aside from the fact that she supposedly believes her son's explanation, kudos!
______________________________________________________________

DES MOINES, Iowa (AP)
-- Jane Hambleton has dubbed herself the "meanest mom on the planet."

After finding alcohol in her son's car, she decided to sell the car and share her 19-year-old's misdeed with everyone -- by placing an ad in the local newspaper.

The ad reads: "OLDS 1999 Intrigue. Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet."

Hambleton has heard from people besides interested buyers since recently placing the ad in The Des Moines Register.

The 48-year-old from Fort Dodge says she has fielded more than 70 telephone calls from emergency room technicians, nurses, school counselors and even a Georgia man who wanted to congratulate her.

"The ad cost a fortune, but you know what? I'm telling people what happened here," Hambleton says. "I'm not just gonna put the car for resale when there's nothing wrong with it, except the driver made a dumb decision.

"It's overwhelming the number of calls I've gotten from people saying 'Thank you, it's nice to see a responsible parent.' So far there are no calls from anyone saying, 'You're really strict. You're real overboard, lady."'

The only critic is her son, who Hambleton says is "very, very unhappy" with the ad and claims the alcohol was left by a passenger.

Hambleton believes her son but has decided mercy isn't the best policy in this case. She says she set two rules when she bought the car at Thanksgiving: No booze, and always keep it locked.

The car has been sold, but Hambleton says she will continue the ad for another week -- just for the feedback.

Monday, January 07, 2008

I Love Me Some Quotes

"Defecation is not a toy."

Mike Nelson, host of HGTV's House Detective, upon encountering raccoon feces in a child's sandbox.

Where did they find this guy?!? And can he stay forever?!?