... you can't sleep because you're too itchy.
... you have nightmares about wearing a skirt in public, thinking you're looking fiiiiine, then realizing everyone is staring at your heinous hairy legs.
... your husband says things like "I'm not even going to ask when you last shaved".
... your cats are rubbing up against you with increased frequency.
... you seem to generate more static electricity than usual.
... you start lovingly referring to yourself as "woolly mammoth", "hairy beast" and "Chewbacca"
... you wonder if you might lose some weight if you just up and shaved already.
... small children run from you, screaming something about Big Foot being real.
... dogs seem especially amorous when you're around.
... your legs feel unusually warm for January, and you find yourself thinking "leggings, schmeggings!"
... you consider whether your leg hair could be the next big thing in flooring, replacing bamboo as the ultimate renewable resource.
... Locks of Love contacts you to see if you'll donate your leg hair to make hairpieces for disadvantaged children suffering from medical hair loss.
... you forget about the wonder that is hemp. Leg hair t-shirts! Leg hair backpacks! Leg hair lip balm! Leg hair protein powder! Leg hair leashes! Leg hair business cards!
... when you vacation in Jamaica, the locals ask if you want the hair on your head or the hair on your legs braided with beads.
... you feel quite confident that if stopped by police, you could successfully get away with concealing drugs or weapons in your leg hair.
... you're writing a blog about shaving your legs.
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... you have nightmares about wearing a skirt in public, thinking you're looking fiiiiine, then realizing everyone is staring at your heinous hairy legs.
... your husband says things like "I'm not even going to ask when you last shaved".
... your cats are rubbing up against you with increased frequency.
... you seem to generate more static electricity than usual.
... you start lovingly referring to yourself as "woolly mammoth", "hairy beast" and "Chewbacca"
... you wonder if you might lose some weight if you just up and shaved already.
... small children run from you, screaming something about Big Foot being real.
... dogs seem especially amorous when you're around.
... your legs feel unusually warm for January, and you find yourself thinking "leggings, schmeggings!"
... you consider whether your leg hair could be the next big thing in flooring, replacing bamboo as the ultimate renewable resource.
... Locks of Love contacts you to see if you'll donate your leg hair to make hairpieces for disadvantaged children suffering from medical hair loss.
... you forget about the wonder that is hemp. Leg hair t-shirts! Leg hair backpacks! Leg hair lip balm! Leg hair protein powder! Leg hair leashes! Leg hair business cards!
... when you vacation in Jamaica, the locals ask if you want the hair on your head or the hair on your legs braided with beads.
... you feel quite confident that if stopped by police, you could successfully get away with concealing drugs or weapons in your leg hair.
... you're writing a blog about shaving your legs.
__________________________________________________________
Anyone else brave enough to admit to winter shaving slothfulness? (We'll just pretend that I only suffer from this affliction during the winter months.) How about your own "you know it's time" quips?
1 comment:
Dont shave before Tuesday, I want to get in on some of the rubbing! Happy B-Day by the way, we would have been more prepared, but your idiot of a husband didn't tell us, and I don't think we ever knew when yours was...when is Steven's?
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