How Do You Spell R-E-L-I-E-F ?

I'm willing to bet that I think about babies more than any other childfree woman out there.

I'd love to claim that my obsession is due to the fact that I think often of the wonderful women in my life who recently had or will be having a baby (which IS true) .. but that only explains it in part. The other reason is a man named Jerry.

I belong to an email list called The Childfree List (because it's nice to know we're not the only ones out there). Today, a woman wrote a message asking for advice: she and her decidedly CF boyfriend are talking of marriage; she has seesawed about having children but is feeling the pressure to make a decision. In her own words:

"My boyfriend has pointed out that many divorces are a result of one person wanting children when the other does not. He's asked me to decide whether or not I want children before we decide about getting married, since it would seem pointless to get married if I want children .. and we get divorced in a few years because of that."

Jerry Steinberg, the "Founding Non-Father of NO KIDDING!" (the international social club for childless and childfree couples and singles), gave her the following advice.

"People often ask me for help in deciding whether they should have children, and the best advice I have come up with so far is this:

"At least 20 times a day for at least a week, ask yourself, 'How would having a child change what I am doing right now?' Ask it when you wake up, when you eat, when you talk on the phone, when you read the newspaper, when you exercise, when you go to the bathroom, when you relax, when you go to bed, etc., etc.

"Then determine whether most of the changes would be welcomed or resented."

This is not the first time I've heard Jerry give this advice, and I certainly didn't hear it before resolving the "kids/no kids" debate in my heart and mind. But I find myself asking it 20 times a day - at least! - anyway. The answer? A predictable "resentment". Or more accurately, "relief". Relief, when I think about how painting my fireplace would have taken even longer than 5 hours if I had children. Relief, when I can put my cats in the garage for the night so I can get a good night's sleep. Relief, when I think about bedwetting and hear about school violence and see girls' fashion and worry about the effects of overpopulation on the environment ..

I think this is a fascinating exercise even if someone is absolutely positively convinced that babies are in their future. Though it may not change their minds, it might help prepare parents-to-be for some of the demands and changes they will be facing.

What do you think?

Pregnancy Makes Your Brain Shrink

Rest assured, my pregnant friends, and be sure to let your husbands know: "Pregnancy Brain" is a real phenomenon! Click to read this short, empowering article: Pregnancy Makes Your Brain Shrink

(And here I always thought brain shrinkage is what caused women to want to become pregnant in the first place! Tee hee!)

;-)

The Wedding Crashers

Greetings from our exotic living room! Having a wonderful time; wish you were here!

Last night was my cousin Katie's wedding. In typical Steve and Ronda fashion, we forgot to bring our camera, so we missed many photo ops at the gorgeous Lakeside Gardens, complete with swans. A quick snapshot with the mosquitoes in our living room will have to substitute.

It was a lovely outdoor ceremony, and though it was a bit chilly at 7 o'clock, the rain from earlier had blessedly stopped. I was honored to be part of the ceremony by providing some of the music. My marionette-playing-banjo-ventriloquism act was a hit! The highlight of the ceremony for me, however, was hearing about how Katie and Justin met; rather, how Justin stalked Katie until she noticed him. Or something like that. (Welcome to the family!)

During the reception, I decided to liven things up even more - I went up with all the single ladies and fought my way into catching the bouquet. Then I went up with all the single men and muscled my way into catching the garter. Okay, I did neither. But the "Mission Impossible" music playing during the merriment made me wish I had. Predictably, we instead sat and enjoyed the company and the delicious food, notably the Brie en Croute (best pronounced with an over-the-top twangy Southern accent). It was great seeing family and friends from the Midwest.

There were many toasts during the reception, but my uncle Tom's was particularly stirring. I always forget how poetic and articulate he is. As he spoke of Katie's essence and how everything she does in life is a dance, I realized just how much we've missed by not spending more time with her since her move to Oregon. Thankfully - God willing - we have more time with her, and now we have the added blessing of Justin.

Congratulations to you both.

"Wonderful" News

I started a blog a couple of weeks ago where I was going to post a picture of a funky dinosaur and ramble about how I'm a Postablogslackasaurus .. but I never finished it (although I'm sure the opportunity to do so will arise someday). Who says procrastination doesn't pay off in the form of actual newsworthiness?!?

Steve and I have become an uncle and aunt again .. the first baby to arrive from Ronda's side of the family.

Mirana (meaning "wonderful" or "grace") Sophia was born to Ronda's sister Sonja and her husband Fares on Thursday, September 28th at 2:07 am. She weighed in at 7 lbs 3 oz and stretched out to 21 inches long. (As I know nothing about babies, these measurements are either remarkable, or remarkably normal. I would ask my sister, but, well ... she seems to have lost all objectivity. Go figure.)

Mom and baby will most likely be leaving the hospital tomorrow, and both parents are just a little bit excited to begin their life with her.

I figured some baby pictures might be more appreciated than the dinosaur clipart previously mentioned, so go ahead - feast your eyes on our newest niece:

Deliciousness & Nautilusness

Thursday the 17th was our 10 year wedding anniversary. Steve had to work, so we celebrated this weekend with a quick trip up to Seattle.

Our drive up on Monday was uneventful. We mourned the move of our friends Mike and Crystal as we passed their old exit in Vancouver, cursed the couple that bought their home enabling the move, and considered committing acts of vandalism to the home. Or maybe that was just me.

After arriving at Chambered Nautilus, our bed and breakfast inn, we took a brief stroll through the neighborhood. Within walking distance of the University of Washington campus, the street was a mix of beautiful old homes - some turned fraternity/sorority house - and rather unattractive student housing. We passed a granola girl having a yard sale. She had the most gorgeous huge dog with her, guarding some nasty dining room chairs and other random items for sale. She reminded me of the hippies that would hang out at the University of Oregon campus in Eugene, neither students nor employed, begging for money. "If you're so hungry, eat your dog", people would quip testily at them.

We walked further. Frat boys with no shirts on were spraying each other with a garden hose in their front lawn and screaming like little girls. Broken glass covered a side street .. discarded vodka bottles? victim windows from car prowls? A stairway covered in Sharpie graffiti (collegiate witticisms such as "Bush sucks") led to a community garden. And on the sidewalk, some coins. 35 cents! I bent to pick them up, then looked around sheepishly to see if someone was snarking at me through a window. Glued to the ground, those blasted coins! I wondered how many other spendthrifts had been conned. Steve laughed happily at my expense.

Upon recommendation, we ate dinner at the Metropolitan Grill. "Steaks that melt in your mouth", we were promised. The Met (as it is supposedly called by those in the know) lived up to the hype, but I was wooed less by the steak than by the twice baked potatoes that Steve ordered. He gave me a bite. My eyes opened wide with surprise - I have never felt this way about a potato before! He offered me a second bite. My eyes narrowed seductively. "Hello, deliciousness", I murmered as I brought the fork to my mouth. "Helloooo", waved a bored and neglected Steve from across the table.

We gorged ourselves on dinner and dessert, a giant tower of carrot cake with buttercream frosting and vanilla ice cream. Food coma set in early and it took us far longer than it should have to find our car in the underground parking garage. We returned to our well-appointed room (the Crow's Nest Chamber, if you're interested in seeing some pictures) and .. skipping to breakfast, we met a gal from New Mexico, which gave us further opportunity to curse Mike and Crystal in Arizona. Funny .. she and her husband were vacationing together in Seattle, but they traveled separately - she by plane, he by motorcycle. She was originally from the East Coast (Boston area), and quite a talker .. so the travel arrangements made more sense after that.

On Tuesday, we went to the Woodland Park Zoo. What an incredibly beautiful place! The habitats were so lush, and we saw quite a bit more active wildlife than usual. Orangutans appeared to interact with us through the glass barrier, the giraffes literally crossed our paths when they were moved from the Savannah to their pens, we fed small tropical birds from our hands, and a lion roared for several seconds when we were nearby. Granted, it seemed more like he was hacking up a giant furball than trying to impress us with his ferociousness, but it was still infinitely more interesting than seeing him sleep on a big rock.

That evening we took in the Yankees/Mariners game at Safeco field. A crushing loss - the Mariners hit a game winning home run in the bottom of the ninth - made redemptive by the fact that a) it shut up the couple of overly obnoxious Yankee fans near us, and b) the Yankees turned around and won the following night when several of Steve's coworkers (all Mariners' fans) were present.

We left Wednesday after another scrumptious breakfast and conversation with a military couple from the Washington, D.C. area. They were well-traveled people who shamed us by remembering and using our names throughout the conversation, reacted badly to Steve's suggestion that every true baseball fan should admit that they'd love to have a George Steinbrenner as their team owner, and convinced me that if they could easily ski the Swiss Alps I could perilously ski Mt. Hood this winter.

On the way home, we hit the exceptional Museum of Glass gift store in Tacoma and picked up "Jupiter", a new addition to our collection of Celestial Series weights. We now have three - one for each visit up to the Seattle area. It should only take us another hundred years or so to complete the collection.

Our last stop was Ikea, where we hoped to score big on some new furnishings for the home but only did so-so. Significant purchases included a new TV stand (so we could reconfigure the furniture in our living room and consequently entertain more comfortably) and a display case for our previously mentioned glass weight collection (so they can stop collecting dust on the office desk). We feasted on Swedish meatballs and lingonberry sauce and sighed contently, basking in the knowledge that Portland will be getting its own Ikea in 2007.

Not the most glamorous way to celebrate 10 years of marriage, but neither Steve nor I are all that glamorous. Simple, happy, best friends still in love .. yes.

Missing/Endangered: Tweetie Bird

I had my first paying gig as a home stager this weekend. Ah yes, I can hear you: "a who-wha?" A pillow fluffer. A curtain preener. Someone who comes in to make homes for sale all "ooh" and "ahh".

Okay, for a slightly more technical definition, check out my website: www.room-to-move.net. If you like the tasty little sample picture and want to gorge on some fun "Before & Afters", you'll want to check out my Photo Gallery page while you're there. (Isn't that bed just yummm?)

I sent a letter to the realtor who helped us purchase our current home, letting her know that I started my own staging business. As luck would have it (lucky for me, anyway, not so much for her), she just lost her best stager and had a house in desperate need. It's been on the market 2-1/2 months, and has had 3 or 4 seriously interested parties who kept saying "this is one of our top two choices". In each case, the buyers chose the other home.

It's a nice house - two years old, in good condition with some great features - but there was nothing really memorable about it, much less "wow". After six hours of staging on Sunday (preceded by an unmentionable number of hours spent shopping for props), I think "wow" was achieved. The realtor and homeowners were both thrilled, anyway.

I was pretty pleased myself. I felt a bit like the cat who swallowed the canary.

Hopefully it will now sell quickly, the true measure of success. I feel like a million bucks even without that affirmation though .. the homeowners told the realtor that I was "delightful" and completely dissolved their preconceived image of me as some "hoity toity decorator". (I know, far-fetched and laughable! The delightful part, that is. Heh.) They asked if I ever help people get set up in their new homes as well, so hopefully there's another gig lurking in my near future.

Now, if I could get a job a week, I'd be the dog who swallowed the cat. (Add Sylvester to that missing/endangered list, why dontcha.)

Ode to an Odor

Something stinks. It really reeks.
Of the litter box I do not speak.
Nay, something else, wretched and fowl -
It makes upon my face a scowl.

It turns my insides inside out.
It no doubt makes me pout and shout.

This dreadful stench. It has a name.
On dear friends it's staked its claim.
Their fragrance which was once so sweet
Will soon wilt in the desert heat.

Arizona! Oh, heinous state
I hate you - rate you not so great!

Why must you lure my friends away?
(How can I postpone moving day?)
I'd shake my fist skyward, I suppose
If I didn't need it to plug my nose.

Farewell, then, if you must go
I know you need the dough to flow

Mike, Crystal, Elliot - we'll really miss you.
Good grief! Someone hand me a tissue!
I know - I mustn't be a hater.
Good luck! God speed! We'll see you later!

___________________________________

Mike, Crystal and Elliot's Blog:

http://www.3catsandababy.blogspot.com/